Moment of silent awe, please. Round 5 is a pivotal moment in this game, because...



NEW ENEMIES! NEW BACKGROUND! DID I MENTION NEW ENEMIES?! OH MY GOD, FINALLY!

In a shocking twist, Round 5 is a lot different from the previous ones. Not that different, perhaps, but different enough for me to get excited about it and to renew my enthusiasm for the game. For the first part of the stage, Jupiter fights not with the standard Duke Nukem Jr./Hag/Troll/etc. gang, but with these strange gangland guys! And, incidentally, these are the first overtly male enemies in the game, which is a bit of a change from the normal 'lots and lots of blokes with the token scantily-clad woman enemy' routine. Anyway, the appearance of these masked dudes marks another change- there's a lot of them, and the game seems very happy to let them swarm on Jupiter in huge numbers. This is actually quite a nice change of pace, as it adheres to the classic Final Fight principle, i.e. the more enemies that are on-screen at any one time, the better. This is a principle I can definitely support.



Admittedly, the same old cronies eventually join the brawl, but by this point, you don't actually mind. The elation upon seeing something new and different to fight is a huge morale booster, and even gives you the guts to entertain the notion that you might be able to finish this game without losing your sanity. Anyway, now that I've calmed down a little from the sheer joy of a new enemy to beat seven different shades of blue into, the stage itself is also a little different, it takes place in Anywheresville, Japan's rather run-down and shady port section at night, which means lots of nice sea views and, uh, barnacles. Maybe. The point is, it's very different from what we've seen previously (i.e. streets, streets and more streets, and a few corridors thrown in for good measure) so it's well appreciated.



Oh, and this is the final magic attack, available for just 5 blue crystals. Jupiter throws The Horns again, just to show she means business.

Indeed, she means serious business; any enemy on screen (except bosses) will instantly be killed when Jupiter unleashes this attack.

Don't worry, the enemies don't suffer too much. It's only a little SUPREEEEME THUNDAAAAH after all.



As with practically every stage in this game so far, Round 5 eventually starts to overstay its welcome by the tiniest amount, and goes on for a touch too long. You'll begin to notice here that the new smart-suit guys are slowly becoming less common, and the other losers Jupiter's been wailing on start coming out from the woodwork once more. Could it be that the masked guys were merely a clever ruse to trick you into thinking things were going to get better?! Was this all just... Temporary?!

Don't do this to me, Gazelle! I want to like your silly little game, but this stuff just makes it so hard!



You eventually get to this section, which leads into the final bit of this stage. Now, these guys are a bit weird. For some reason, they prefer to hide behind the wall, and simply don't want to get within a mile of Sailor Jupiter. They actually have to be lured out of their hidey-hole and only then can justice be delivered. Why so shy, guys? I daresay, it could be because she's going to kick the living shit out them... Just a thought.


Now why would I go and do that? That's not much fun at all, I'd rather toy with them first, then beat them senseless.


How silly of me to forget. Now for the last time, stop interrupting me.



In any case, looks like Gazelle were just bluffing earlier with those repeated enemies, those cards! The masked guys return en-masse in this final little section, which also reveals to our heroine that a great conspiracy is afoot, involving sacks of money with, uh, dollar signs on them. Shouldn't they have yen signs on them? I thought we were in Townsville, Japan? Perhaps we've uncovered some kind of off-shore money laundering scheme, a conspiracy involving the Yakuza, the American mafia and these random masked hoods and the occasional living doll? Ah, who cares. They're obviously up to no good, so Jupiter makes an example of them with her feet of fury.



And the next boss is... Well, I initially read that as Zolgait, but it's apparently Zoisait. I had to look this up, just to make sure. Bah.


Hiding behind your goons, I see. Oh well, the more the merrier. Prepare to die.



Goodness, my dear, you're going to fight me, and all my friends, alone?! Ha ha ha! Have you written your will yet?



That's a very good point, I haven't done that. When I'm finished here, I'll write it in your blood.



Oh, wait, you're the one the boss warned us about, the completely mad one... Uh, God speed, precious goons...




This fight is rather obviously split into two parts; the first will mostly involve Jupiter getting rid of the Goon Legions while constantly being attacked by Zoisait. This is amazingly fun, because it adheres once again to the Final Fight principle; fun is increased in relation to the amount of enemies on screen, and the more overwhelming, the better! Jupiter's able to make very short work of them by abusing her deadly aerial dive, knocking each enemy back into one another...



Once the goon ranks have thinned down a little, it's time for the hard part, tackling Zoisait alone. This guy is an incredibly annoying boss, as he seems to take delight in zipping around the room, attacking you with electricity, and generally being a total dick. What makes this fight even more irritating is the fact that, as well as floating, Zoisait leaves shadow trails, similar to using a Super Move in the Street Fighter Alpha games, which is pretty confusing and goes to show this guy is just a show-off; the worst kind of boss in any beat-em-up (see also: Rolento from Final Fight). Jupiter shows no mercy, but...




Whoops, I left the stove on. Gotta run! And next time, try not to hit the face, OK?



Hey, get back here, I haven't even had a chance to snap your spine yet! Coward!


That's right, he runs away! He's not allowed to do that! Oh well, guess we'll catch up with him later.

On the next page: Sailor Jupiter's worst nightmare!