Fighters Megamix - DID YOU EVER WANT TO HIT SOMEBODY WHO COULDN'T HIT BACK?

Such choice! And yes this is from the Japanese version why do you ask?

Lots of characters, am I right?

Well, here's all of them, in all their costumes. A handy visual reference guide, don't you think?

Oh nooooo!

Akira
(Virtua Fighter, 1993)

Like that Tower of Druaga page with all the items.

And those Perfect Cherry Blossom pages where I had to post the full conversations.

Pai
(Virtua Fighter, 1993)

In other words, it's a page with a lot of images...

... And not enough captions in the world to put on them all.

Lau
(Virtua Fighter, 1993)

I'm not sure why I keep doing this to myself.

On the one hand, no-one actually reads these things.

Wolf
(Virtua Fighter, 1993)

On the other, IF IT EXISTS

Jeffry
(Virtua Fighter, 1993)

AND THERE WILL BE NO EXCEPTIONS

Kage
(Virtua Fighter, 1993)

I wonder if this is a sign of obsessive compulsive disorder?

I mean, it's not like I wash my hands over and over again until my skin literally sparkles, but I do this, so...

Sarah
(Virtua Fighter, 1993)

It's just that I don't like to do things by halves.

Jacky
(Virtua Fighter, 1993)

If you've been reading this website for more than 10 minutes, you'll know that I like being thorough.

Shun-Di
(Virtua Fighter 2, 1995)

But hey, it's my shtick, my 'thing'.

Lion
(Virtua Fighter 2, 1995)

By the way, just so you know.

We're not even remotely close to being half-done yet.

Dural
(Virtua Fighter, 1993)

So, while we've got a bit of time...

Why don't I talk about my strange relationship with fighting games?

Thing is, I'm not such a huge Virtua Fighter fan.

Siba
(Virtua Fighter, 1993)

I'm just not hardcore enough.

I'm actually the last person who should ever be talking about fighting games.

Kids Akira
(Virtua Fighter Kids, 1996)

Since I'm not hardcore enough, I'll never be able to get it totally right.

The only reason I did this and Fighting Vipers is because, since FV is so much simpler than VF, I've picked it up pretty well and actually 'get' them.

Kids Sarah
(Virtua Fighter Kids, 1996)

You'll probably never see me cover any other fighting games here, because I know I'll miss out something and my article will have no value.

You'll probably never see me cover any other fighting games here, because I know I'll miss out something and my article will have no value.

Like, at one point, I seriously considered an article on super-obscurity Touki Densohu -Angel Eyes-, a weird fighter by Tecmo.

Bean the Dynamite
(Sonic the Fighters, 1996)

BUT, and here's the thing, some other blog beat me to it.

Bark the Polarbear
(Sonic the Fighters, 1996)

Had I written something on it, it was going to be like 'hurr this game is silly' and call it a day.

But this guy actually detailed inifinite combos for a few characters, something I'd totally miss.

The blog is Subatomic Brainfreeze, by the way- funny dude writes it, real talk.

Grace
(Fighting Vipers, 1995)

Point is, I don't like doing articles where I'll miss something, as being totally accurate and useful is my goal here.

So this is why I avoid fighting games- I know my limitations, and don't like posting about every video game under the sun, merely the ones I can play well.

... Christ, I'm running out of things to say.

Bahn
(Fighting Vipers, 1995)

You know what the best part is?

I've actually written about fighting games 'properly' now so all this is null and void!

And so's the captions that used to be here!

Christ, this is a mess! I'm not changing all this again, fuck that!

Raxel
(Fighting Vipers, 1995)

So yeah, no fighting game articles here. Or, at least, not that many.

It hurts, because there's a few I'd LOVE to talk about, but my lack of expertise prevents me from doing so.

Such is the life of a nit-picker such as myself!

Tokio
(Fighting Vipers, 1995)

Aaaand I'm starting to run out of stuff now so HERE'S SANMAN.

Sanman is great because he's fat and throws people AND LOVES MOTORCYCLES.

Sanman
(Fighting Vipers, 1995)

Well, he has some 'thing' with Picky in the VF intro.

And the instruction manual says something about a 'thing' with Honey.

Jane
(Fighting Vipers, 1995)

Yes, it's Honey, the silliest character in any fighting game.

And look, she dyed her hair for some reason?

I just want you people to know that I once saw a gallery of Honey dolls. Not the good kind.

Honey
(Fighting Vipers, 1995)

And now, Picky.

I probably should've talked about the characters earlier.

Picky
(Fighting Vipers, 1995)

Oh, interesting note- Mahler wasn't like this in the original Fighting Vipers!

Mahler
(Fighting Vipers, 1995)

No-one cares about B.M. either, in an ideal world.

CRAZY FACT: Honey, Sanman and Tokio are apparently the most popular characters according to Retro Gamer Forum.

BUT according to SEGA'S OFFICIAL FAN BOOK entitled FIGHTING VIPERS: MY SWEET HONEY the most popular players are OH GOD WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS JESUS WHAT HAVE I BECOME

B.M.
(Fighting Vipers, 1995)

[Hello, it's Ed here. The writer just had a nervous breakdown and... What the fuck? -Ed]

[Bloody typical. The second I take over, the characters get disturbing. - Ed]

[Oh, and what is this now? A giant lump of meat? Really? - Ed]

[I'm just glad it's not Honey he's making me talk about. - Ed]

Kumachan/Pandachan/Mr. Meat/Palm Tree
(Fighting Vipers, 1995)

OK, I've recovered now. You can go home, Ed.

Rent-a-Hero
(Rent-a-Hero, 1991)

Just four more characters now, and seven more captions after this one.

Like I always, ALWAYS say on this site, if I'm not suffering, I'm not doing it right.

Janet
(Virtua Cop 2, 1995)

It's a good philosophy to have.

The other major site philosophy is that by taking our time on articles, we'll eventually increase the quality of writing regarding video gaming.

Deku
(Fighters Megamix, 1996)

But then I remember it's the internet.

Hornet
(Daytona USA, 1993)

This has been yet another pointless stream-of-conciousness caption writing exercise.

URA Bahn
(Fighters Megamix, 1996)

I'm pretty sure this page is even more pointless than the Space Invaders DX guide. Oh well, back to the FM guide, I guess.