Last Time, at Gaming Hell Headquarters...

20th May, 2015
It's another year, but we're still putting that old ENEMY OF THE STATE joke here, because it's tradition at this point. In fact, I've just reused this text. Ha! A slow year, this time, with no full playthroughs at all and quite a few months missed! We were working on quite a few, but they clearly need a bit more baking time, and one of them will require, shall we say, a different approach. Instead, we've covered ground like
some of my favourite Taito games, the first anime review, the first iOS and Free-to-Play reviews, and Miku wormed her way onto the site not once, but twice. And, of course, the grand reopening/fixing of The Gathering of Games. I'm especially glad I finally figured out something for that part of the site, even if it did mean reducing what little Touhou content we have here. All-in-all, a less productive year, but one with some important firsts and fixes. Well, the only other thing was apparently a new mascot started hiding herself on a page or two, but I wouldn't know anything about that.

So, what's the game for the 7th anniversary? It's one that's very close to my heart... And one you probably wouldn't expect. Because of the one time I saw it in a genuine British arcade, I have been unable to forget Pocket Gal, probably the last Data East game you'd imagine would show up on this website. However, this one turned out to be quite an interesting thing to write, mostly because of the intertwined nature of the Pocket Gal and Side Pocket games- you'd think it was simply a case of Pocket Gal being a refined Side Pocket, but it's actually a little more complicated than that, as you shall see! No nudes in this one, though. You'll just have to play the game yourself to see that!

Anyway... Here's to at least another year of keeping my editor busy, playing games on any available viewing device, and being the strongest website in the world!

Also, we updated a few of the older pages, thusly:
* Castlevania - An important correction noted- if you're playing the Japanese version of Legacy of Darknss, Henry's scenario is unlocked from the get-go so you don't have to slog through Cornell's story to get to it. Thanks, TCRF!
* City Connection - Corrected a lot of mistakes about City Connection Rocket, due to replaying the entire game and getting every secret document. Please, don't do this to yourself if you own the game. It's not worth it.
* Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon - Lots of changes. From a factual perspective, we added a singular regional change- a small piece of dialogue between Eounds 2 and 3. From a content point of view, we finally cleaned up the shitty, offensive jokes in this one. I've changed a lot since I wrote this and I was genuinely uncomfortable rereading it. I'm sorry if you saw the old version. Besides, it's now a lot funnier!

1st April, 2015
We meet again. It is I, the great and powerful Ed the Editor, and it's April Fools' Day. Again. This year I decided I'd finally had enough of my writer cohort's cruel pranks, and tried to inflict the Max Payne movie on him. But, uh, let's just say someone else had a different plan in mind... It's a bit embarrassing, but please read for some utter nonsense. See you next year, losers!

22nd March, 2015
Something short, sweet and strange for the pre-April-Fools'-Day season, a little look at Miku Miku Hockey 2.0, an Augmented Reality hockey game starring Hatsune Miku. No, really.

We'll be updating some more articles later this year, but for now, an important one:
* Puzzle Bobble 4 - This was (almost) the last of the 'oh god this page is so embarrassing why did i ever think this was even close to good' articles. We have cleaned it up considerably so it sounds less like a rejected draft of an episode of the Angry Video Game Nerd and more like... Well, more like the kinda thing we write nowadays, I guess. I'm so sorry if you inflicted the original version on yourself, it's much better now!

15th February, 2015
We return to the battlefield of the Perigine Falcons with a look at the final Neo-Geo installment of Metal Slug, Metal Slug 5. Don't worry, unlike the actual game, this article is actually finished. Probably.

We also updated some old articles, as we are known to do. Well, one at least:
* City Connection - There has been a lot happening in the wide world of City Connection in the past few months. Our page is finally as complete as you can get, with coverage of two of the three mobile games (yes, this includes City Connection Rocket, at last), a vocal song based on the game's theme, and with assistance from @gingerbeardman, @rdbaa, @_sharc, Kishi and @Cheesemeister3k, we now have all the secret items from the arcade game and the Famicom port uncovered and detailed, a look at the Famicom port's instruction manual and story, and the reveal that City Connection Rocket's devs are working on a sequel. As I said, a lot of excitement going on there!

25th January, 2015
Quite a few firsts with this extra update- the first proper iOS reviews! The first Free-to-Play reviews! The first time UFO-co from Space Invaders Extreme 2 has appeared in an article! Get ready for a rhythm game beatdown as LoveLive! School idol festival X Groove Coaster Zero is tonight's match-up..

11th January, 2015
Happy new year, I guess. No, we're not making a Back to the Future Part II joke. Instead, we are going to present, to you, some pure Sega love in the form of Hi☆sCoool! SeHa Girls. Please, enjoy.

14th December, 2014
Alright, let's go, punks! Our review of Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA F 2nd is up and rnuning, ya clowns, and it's a big one, so get stuck in, OK? Additionally, we have finally fixed the most embarassing part of the site, The Gathering of Games, with the Touhou section removed and a new area, Vocaloidin': The Video Games in its place. From here on out, the Gathering section will mostly gather together series or linked games that we've already written about to prevent what happened last time. God, it feels good to finally get this done! Felt like it was taking forever.

We've also had a well-overdue look at some older pages and done a bit of updating. The changes are as follows:
* Cleopatra Fortune - Added an amusing pirate Game Boy cartridge with Cleopatra Fortune art on it, and also a minor correction from reader Jake M about the Taito Legends 2 version- you can select Easy Mode in this version if you play with a joypad which doesn't require you to configure the direction pad buttons. Playing on a keyboard limits you to Left, Right and Down, meaning you can't select Easy.
* Corpse Party - In anticipation of the English PC release, we have altered the Corpse Party page so you now have a choice- you can switch major spoilers off, as well as scary/violent screenshots, or both off at once. You can select which version to view on the Warning page. Even if you want everything switched on, check out the censored versions anyway for some weird surprises...? Also, this article at one point used the word 'fan-service' which apparently my editor never noticed at first brush, and he dragged me into his secret office (blindfolded so I never find out where it is) to discuss the matter. Loudly. Basically, I was using the word wrong, which is why we altered the text. Also in this discussion we discovered neither of us really knows what the word 'moe' means, and that 'Kantai Collection' is also a mystery to us, even though one page on this site has a joke about that. We have, however, decisively figured out the difference between onee-chan and onii-chan, so we're learning.
* Yohko Ishino - Rewrote this entire page from scratch. I hated it. Also, a reader-Crabamoustache -very helpfully did my homework for me and found a collection of Ishino's music online, so a lot has been cleared up. Which, in fact, rendered a lot of it completely pointless. So perhaps it has taken the crown as the Most Pointless Page On This Entire Website (a highly-coveted award, no less). Then again, this means it might actually be useful to people.
* Perfect Cherry Blossom - As a result of actually getting a proper group page that has more than one game up and running, we have finally retired the Touhou Project section. If I ever get to cover another Touhou game, we'll bring it back, but for now, it seems like that ain't happening. We have rewritten some parts of the PCB article as a result (and ironed out some of the whole article), and moved it to Wretch! Video Games!! so finally the worst part of the site has been exorcised. Not that I don't like Touhou anymore- far from it- it's just I was never going to do the whole series. It just wasn't happening.

Some of this stuff we've wanted to do for ages, so it's great to finally get it done, ya know?

8th November, 2014
My God, we actually did it! We managed to update two months on the trot! This is a bit special though, as I get to talk in-depth about one of my all-time favourite arcade games, Bubble Symphony. This one comes straight from the heart, so please enjoy

9th October, 2014
Sorry! Sorry. We skipped another month. I'd say my editor's breathing down my neck, but he's not, because he's just as lazy. The pair of us are so lazy we're reusing our apology from last time! Anyway, this month we have the very unusual htoL#NiQ -Hotaru no Nikki- on the slate. This one gets a big wordy but it was necessary to vent some frustration.

Two big mysteries solved in older articles, though, thanks to some reader input- reader Kenshi told us what some of the items do in Psycho Soldier, and his help lead us to another site that lead to @_sharc pitching in with some translations that finally told us how to get the the secret items in City Connection! This means our page on the subject is probably one of the most comprehensive around. I am inordinately proud of this fact.

Oh, and we commissioned internet pal lunarsystem_ to draw our mascot again, and it's the best:

24th August, 2014
Sorry! Sorry. We skipped another month. I'd say my editor's breathing down my neck, but he's not, because he's just as lazy. So, we have another one from the 'weird sequels/spin-offs' pile this month, with Resident Evil Gaiden. You know, that Game Boy Color one. Please, enjoy this odyssey into horror with Barry 'Man of Action' Burton and friends!

28th June, 2014
Did you not check your calendars? It's PUZZLE MONTH! And so we tackle an oft-forgotten Taito puzzle game, Cleopatra Fortune with a load of bonus junk! We have some other exciting updates, including what we think is a City Connection promo manga but we'll be doing those another day. Enjoy!

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