See that bit where it says 'Final Round', huh? That's right, people. It's time to put an end to this. Let's attack aggressively.

Oh, and apparently, we're in the middle of the Antarctic. Go figure.

Now, at this point of the game, as with many other scrolling brawlers, you might be expecting a good ol' fashioned Boss Rush. For those of you who join us from the modern era and aren't curmudgeonous old dinosaurs perpetually stuck in 1992, a Boss Rush is where all the previous bosses you've fought in the game come back to kick your ass all over again, usually without a break in-between them. They're also sometimes palette-swapped, and with different names, but I digress. Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon, surprisingly, doesn't go for this old-fashioned (and sadistic) gag, but instead opts for something I honestly can't remember seeing anywhere else... Could this be Interesting Idea #3 on the horizon?!



That's right! It's not a Boss Rush, it's an Enemy Palette Swap Rush!

Mercifully, this also makes the last level pretty short. Instead of fighting wave after wave of random enemies, Jupiter must make her way through a single enemy type, palette-swapped several times to make a small mob of them. First up, it's the toga girls, and it's at least faintly noticeable here that the palette swaps in this game don't really 'feel' much different to each other... If you look, there's two versions of the blue-toga enemy, simply with different hair! It shouldn't work like that, Gazelle! Still, it's a nice brawl we got goin' here, so it's all good.



And then, the trolls arrive. Gah. I don't think there's any enemy type I despise more. They're just so small and annoying, with a pandemic of Running Fat Guy Disease rife among them. Fortunately, this is the last time we'll ever see them, so it's only appropriate we give 'em the big kiss-off.



Hmm, what's this?! After entering a little cave, Jupiter finally catches up with Zoisait and with him, she finds his new friend... Knzait? I thought we'd seen all the really stupid names already, guess I was wrong... And what's with announcing THE BIG FOUR when there's only two of them? Why doesn't anything make sense in this game?! Ah, who cares, let's just get this over with...


Prepare for trouble!



Make it do-



Sorry guys, we did this gag already. And didn't I teach you a lesson earlier, blondie?



Oh, uhm, that's right... Knzait, hold me!



Only when you stop mispronouncing my name.




I'll level with you; these guys are pretty boring. We've already fought Zoisait before, so there isn't much to say about him, but this Knzait newcomer? No sir, he doesn't impress me. Whereas Zoisait apparently controls electricity, Knzait has power over ice (and I'm gonna make a wild guess here, and say that the other two of THE BIG FOUR probably use earth and wind as their powers. Where's heart, though?) and he'll throw icy boulders and ice shots at you. He's also got that shadow-thing going on, just like Zoisait. Unfortunately, this fight isn't nearly as cool as the first time with Zoisait, because he's no longer hiding behind his goons and as such, it's not a huge burly brawl like it was before. Yaaaaaawn. Let's move on swiftly.


Aww, they done? Such a shame. I was hoping the rest of the Big Four would show up for a nice, messy brawl.




The Enemy Palette-Swap Rush continues, with the creepy, lifeless marionettes making their return to the fighting stage. This is the last time we'll see these guys. Strangely enough, this fills me with much glee. Once you send these guys back to their maker, however, the final wave appears, ready to stop you from seeing the person behind all this trouble. Can you guess which enemy type we fight now?



Oh, er, hi, Duke Nukem Jr. Lovely day, isn't it? I'll be, er, seein' ya...



Well, whaddya know, you brought a friend along, isn't that nice...



You've brought... Lots of friends, I see...



... STRATEGIC RETREAT!



Of course! Who else to end this with than the scariest enemy of the lot? Alas, none of them carry around any tennis rackets with them, which puts a damper on the potential for generating The Fear, but still, there's lots of them, and they don't mess about. It's with this crowd, above any of the others we've seen on this stage, that you really notice the 'palette-swaps aren't really different' thing I've been trying to convey throughout this masquerade of a 'review', because just look. They're. All. The. Same. Try and tell me they're all wildly different colours, and I'll refuse to believe you. Lies, all of it!



With the final DNJ down... Here comes the boss! The final boss of Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon is...



... This is the final boss?!?


So, I suppose you're behind all this? Die, monster! You don't belong in this world.



Ha! It was not by my hands that I am once again given flesh, I was c-





H-h-hey!!! I was in the middle of my speech, you can't hit me when I'm speaking! That's unfair!



All's fair in love and war. Especially war. So, villain, why did you cause all this trouble?



Well, the League of Supervillains told me I had to pull my weight, so I just picked a town on the map at random and...



There's your fatal mistake- you picked my town. For corrupting the innocent, you shall die.




Queen Beril rather nicely fits the bill of 'cheap and annoying final boss', and how! On the plus side, she receives no back-up during the fight, but that's mostly because she doesn't need it. The primary annoyance here is the fact that she knows how to teleport. She's very keen on demonstrating this ability at every chance she gets, especially when you're about to launch into a combo on her. Oh, how she loves to do it as you feebly try to hit her! As her health meter goes down, she'll teleport more and more, to the point where, after being hit, she'll teleport three times in a row. Laaaame.



But that's not the best part! Oh no, friends, Beril also has a dreaded Abigail Throw!* If she's within range and does her grab, then she'll pull you up a little, then smack you lightly on the cheek, and this takes away at least half of your life bar. Initially, this is incredibly frustrating, but her grabbing manoeuvre is pretty obvious once you've seen it a few times. Avoiding it, on the other hand, is quite difficult, as for a close-range attack, it's more like half-the-pissing-screen range... If you do manage to avoid it, though, it's a good time to attack her.

* Abigail Throw: A throw in any scrolling beat-em-up that doesn't seem to do much to the character being thrown, but usually takes away half of their life bar. The term is derived from the original Final Fight, as the Stage 5 boss, Abigail, had a throw where he'd gently throw you upwards, but it did terrible amounts of damage. OK, so this isn't a term that's actually ever been used as far as I know, but I'm a trend-setter, baby!



Her other attacks are a bit less interesting, as she'll whack you with her sceptre and give you one hell of a bitch-slap. They both do a fair bit of damage to you, but she'll mostly be killing you with that stupid, stupid Abigail Throw, and avoiding everything you throw at her with her teleport. Yeah, this fight goes on for a long, looooong time. Get a brew on and have a nice big cup of tea if you're playing along at home, you'll need it.



The best way to defeat her is simply a battle of attrition. Let's face it, you're probably going to be playing this on an emulator anyway, so just keep using that handy-dandy crowd-control attack and continue as much as you can before you want to end it all, as it's sure to knock her off her feet... Although that said, she actually floats around, so... Ah, whatever, this isn't time for semantics. It's best not to rely on your combo attacks, because she'll either teleport or grab you. The aerials seem to fare a bit better as well. Oh, and of course, use that magic whenever you can. These are your best tools for victory, which is oh so close now!



I suppose it's only appropriate we end this the way we started; kicking and screaming.



These words make me far happier than they should do. FINAL. ROUND. CLEAR.


Aw, is it over already? I was just getting warmed up. Who's next?


Well, I hope you learnt something today, missy. Something about not pissing off the writer, maybe?


I learnt something alright; I'm a perfect Pretty Soldier princess, and you're just common trash!


Hey, you can't talk to me like that! Do it again, and I'll...


Hey, wait, what's that? Oh, yeah! The game's over. You can't do shit to me now, so it's Game Over for you too, buddy!


... God-dammit...

Check out the totally awesome ending on the next page!